The ten worlds in our life

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It has been an emotional roller coaster week for me...... And it has given me something to think about, and it is how to overcome my fundemental darkness. Everyone like to win, and I know that I am one of them. And I always want to achieve my target. For doing that, I can work day and night, and I can walk the extra mile to get where I want to be. But the thing is when I walk the extra mile and I couldn't make to where I want to be, I feel really emotional about it. And now I recognize this problem, so it is time for me to make a change of this character.

This story also starts from sunday, as early in the morning, after my breakfast, I went to my lab to continue my experiment. Knowing that I have much beginner luck, and I my technique for western blotting is getting mature, I am very thrilled to work on sunday and get even more experimental result.

By 11:45pm, i was so thrilled by the result that I had. It was a day long experiment from morning until night. And so, I started to do some notes on my "brilliant" result. However, after doing comparison, I found out that the experimental result was really crappy. It was just a nice pattern without any meaning after all. And i look back to my methods, and found that I altered a step because lack of a reagent, and I started to feel anger with myself. Instantly, my emotion started to blurred with the sadness and anger without advance notice, and started to blame on many things......
















When I reach my hostel, started to chant for wisdom and courage to face the challenge. I feel better, but still angry with myself. And I have a good friend in Australia, she is Jactty. Although she is in Adelaide, thanks to 3 mobile network, we have much credit that we could use for communicating with each other. We always keep remind each other to write thesis and to troubleshoot experimental design. Bad days like that occurs constantly, and for me, the best way is to channel out through talking......

Thanks to her as a listener, I started my week again on Monday. By chanting for 1/2 hour in the morning, I am determine to start my week with full of courage and wisdom. So I quickly set up my discussion with Jason (my supervisor), and update him about my experimental result during the weekend, and ever determine to get this 2 days experiment running again.

Waiting for my babies cell to grow to the amount that I need, on Wednesday, I repeated my whole experiment again. This time, is with cautious and care. It is very important that I never do the same mistake again and I will get my result. And so, after a whole day of working in the lab, that night, I got wonderful results, and I am ready for present during the group meeting on Thursday night.

Exhausting long hours, but fulfilled heart. And I am ready to take the experiment to the next step. But I am very cautious with my emotion. I have been not very stable with my heart. I know it is a great challenge for me to sustain high EQ at every moment, but I fail again when I thought that my mic had broken. And it is now ok again.

Life is like a roller coaster, and sure it will bring you ups and downs. If we analyze all these emotional states, we could see that it actually resemblance of the 10 worlds in our life.

Let recall the 10 worlds in every moment:
1) World of Buddhahood (佛界)
2) World of Bodhisattvas (菩萨界)
3) World of Cause-awakened One (缘觉界)
4) World of Voice-hearer (声闻界)
5) World of Heavenly beings (天界)
6) World of Human beings (人界)
7) World of Asuras (修罗界)
8) World of animals (畜牲界)
9) World of Hungry Spirits (饿鬼界)
10) World of Hell (地狱界)

I am very aware that probably now I am still in between world of asuras and world of human beings. And it is time for me to chant and challenge the problem. As a disciple of Ikeda Sensei, we have to fight with the fundamental darkness in order to win in our life. It is a constant battle of good and evil in our life. And we must always strive to the best against our fundamental darkness.